BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
Rotherham 50 Miler 9/12/06
This internet thing is a powerful tool. I didnae realise last year when I wrote my report on the race that non Porty runners would see it. Google has a lot to answer for and no doubt I will be getting sued so come ahead.
Left my house at 1730hrs on the Friday night and set off for Dearne Valley College which is between Barnsley and Rotherham for another epic 50 mile adventure. I had decided to go via Coldstream and pick up the A1 at Morpeth. On getting to Coldstream I saw a policeman on the pavement with the walkie talkie going and thought better watch my speed as my aunt got done there for doing 31. Another 250m then another officer again on the blower, then as I was leaving Coldstream I seen what the fuss was about; there was a horse drawn carriage coming into the town and obviously part of the Christmas celebrations. What it had done to my brain was put it on criminal mode and I immediately thought of Caroline Hogg the 5 year old from Portobello who was mudered by Robert Black. He had picked Susan Maxwell up on this stretch of the road as she returned from playing tennis in Coldstream to her home in Cornhill the previous year and murdered her. Caroline Hogg’s murder was July 1983. I was trying to remember the Detectives name and quickly got it – Hector Clark. Then I saw the sign for Flodden Field at Branxton and we certainly got a doing at that one. Of course right on cue the CD was playing the haunting Gaelic tune Fear A Bhata.
Arrived by 2130hrs at the college to sleep on the floor. First person I spoke to was a guy called Peter McGlynn from Letterkenny, Co. Donegal. I asked how he got here and he told me he flew from Belfast to Robin Hood Airport at Doncaster. I said to him I didnae know there was an airport there and was surprised as the route goes past Sheffield Airport. Turns out he is right so if you are ever on who wants to be a millionaire and Chris Tarrant asks where is Robin Hood Airport? Nottingham, Doncaster or Glasgow. You have to remember it is just Robin Hoodies in Glasgae. Just think when David Cameron becomes PM they will be known as Cameron Hoodies, what is new about an old Etonian wanting to cuddle vulnerable working class male teenagers, they have been doing that for years. See one of Thatchers boys Cowboy Pinochet is now kicking up the daisies. Where is this leading to? Well, there was a couple of American girls doing the race and I have got a good cowboy joke. 3 American surgeons talking about their greatest achievements. The first surgeon from Ohio was called to a factory accident and found a young male who lost his left leg and he stitched it back on and he is now the world record holder over 100m. The second surgeon for New York was called to a car accident and a girl had lost her arm and he got it back on and the arm was good enough to serve its way to a Wimbledon singles title. The surgeon from Texas was called to an incident at a level crossing with a horse. When he got there it was total carnage. All he could salvage was a Cowboy hat and a horses arse, he did his best and it is now the president of the USA. Sports Personality of the Year Zara with a horse. Never heard of her but I have heard of Zoro with a horse. You need a sense of humour to do this one so here goes.
The race started at 0730hrs on the Saturday morning and it was a lovely morning with a touch of ground frost. The route was slightly different with a new start/finish at the Dearne Valley College which is a new building with good sports facilities. I ran the first couple miles with a past winner of the race Les ‘Amnesia’ Hill. I said to him about running at Gloucester earlier in the year. He said he had not run at Gloucester which I thought was strange because Eileen Calder told me at the Strahaven 50 miler Les and his wife were a big help at the event where Eileen was eventually timed out and was really ill running for Scotland. At the end of the race Les came up to me and asked me how I had done and I told him and asked the same, then he said he had made a mistake and did run in the 100k at Gloucester. Not only that, but he got the title for Scottish 100k Champion. If it was me, I would get a tattoo Les. The next person on the radar is Kerry “say again” Booth. Another past winner and Kerry had a bit of difficulty understanding a mad dog Scotsman foaming at the mouth. Highlight of my time with Kerry was on an industrial part of the route he said “look at state of that, Rotherham” it was an old semi derelict industrial estate etc, in Scotland we call it a desert with windows. I could not keep up with Kerry and around 23 miles my right knee got rigor mortis, I could have done with key hole surgery but had to wait for the body’s painkiller to kick in at the Woodsetts buffet around the 30 mile mark. I gorged myself on soup, sandwiches, cake, tea etc. Duncan Baker from HBT was running the race with his partner Emma and she did offer me Nurofen but I was able to go on. I was as quick as an income tax rebate over the second half to finish 30 mins slower than last year in 9 hours 49 mins 42 seconds. Thanks to Barry Harrison who was on his 13th attempt got me home in the dark. I had forgotten my head torch and it would have been impossible over the last 3 miles without following Barry.
Jezz Bragg won the event and the Scottish runners doing really well with Paul Hart and Les coming 3rd and 4th for Dumfries and Bill Watson running for Rotherham (also HELP) coming 8th in a PB for Bill. The course was not as muddy this year but it is still a muddy course and 80% is what you would term a crosscountry course so you will know how tough it is and lots of stiles to get over. The Yanks thought the cse was “pretty”. The best way I can describe the navigation required to Porty runners is to think of the 7 Hills Race and going from Slateford Road to Blackford Hill without the hills as markers. Up the likes of Fly Walk, diagonal across Hermitage of Braid etc. The race goes by really quickly and yes I enjoyed every minute of it even with my knee. I love the 7 Hills and Rotherham is the same. Managed to get lost twice and had to fight my way through a wood to get back on track. There is a relay option and 2 runners from Dumfries did it this way. You can have 8 in a team, and he said at the end it was the hardest race of his life, I think doing it in stages could be worse than just doing the full course.
Finally, I have got to thank all the people who help to put this fantastic event on. Thanks for your extra effort in marking the route this year. It costs £9.00 to enter. You get a certificate, long sleeved t shirt and an after race booklet with split times etc. The catering is great with drinks stations every 6 miles approx and one is in a cricket pavilion where you can have a bag of kit sent on to. There is lots of food at most stations and at the last one I said to the young lady “I could eat a scabby dug” She took a few seconds to understand this mad beast then said “I’ve not got scabby dog but I’ve all this and chocolate cake” There were around 20 different things and I started on the peanuts and finished on the chocolate cake. At the end there was a 3 cse meal. Thanks a million folks and December will always be Rotherham month.
Report Mad Dog Henry
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